WHAT
WENT WRONG - 2
My name is Prakash,
aged 27 years, hailing from the rural surroundings of Delhi, eldest among two brothers and two
sisters. Children of an ex-serviceman, we had a pleasant life under the (Anchal) of
our doting mother. Mine is a story worth sharing amongst the youth of today to
prevent their deterioration while holding responsibilities as proxy head of the family in the
absence of my father who used to be on outstation postings.
We had a small dairy at home having five to six buffaloes being looked after by my
mother. Being the eldest, I used to help her in the dairy and in all domestic
chores. I was a very obedient child, but not for long.
I was an average student until high school. My promotion to the senior secondary level
of education also led to my degeneration in my personal and social life. Coming from a
rural background, I befriended all my rural colleagues especially Ramesh, a wrestler whose
company I begun to enjoy immensely. We got into all kinds of brawls, infact we went out
in search of reasons to antagonize people and then pick up fights with them. This led us
to terrorizing people, eventually making us the local so called heroes in the society.
It gave me tremendous pleasure in dealing with my newly acquired subjects - people, earlier
traumatized by us and now at our beck and call. Mass cheating in the terminal
examinations enabled me to surge further in my academic career. Teachers were too
unconcerned to point out. My family was oblivious of all these happenings as I was back home
in time for the milking of the cattle.
I was 17, and now in company of small time traders. This is when I was offered alcohol
for the first time. Considering it macho to drink, I liked the kick received as a result
instantly. Slowly I started consuming it on a regular basis. To supplement my
resources, I used to pocket the balance of money given to me by my mother for purchases of
house hold items. However, Ramesh drifted away as he did not like my drinking. It
was no problem for me.
I had now entered college. My father had retired and his meager pension coupled with the
income from the cattle was just about enough to feed six people. I wanted more. I
had to show off more. It was then that I was offered a cigarette laced with
charas. I felt heavy initially but somehow liked the soothing effect it had on my tense mind.
The college fee was quietly pocketed by me for my enjoyment. Going to college was the
least priority. Attendance was short, but it was manly for us to get clearances for appearing
in the examinations on muscle power. My advances were noticed by my father who resented but my
mother made him see reasons. I had begun to get closer to my uncle who was a
transporter. Meeting him provided me with opportunities of travelling in his trucks in
the company of his drivers who offered me opium and liquor freely. I started learning
driving thinking that it would provide me with a good future - full of money, travel, drugs,
liquor and ensure my staying away from the objecting eyes of my father.
My father wanted to see me settled in a job. Incidentally, recruitment was on in
Delhi Police and I applied. After clearing the physical tests, I sat for the written
examination, which eventually got cancelled as the question papers had leaked. I had now
to wait for the re-exams.
Having nothing to do I spent my time with my friends gambling, taking drugs and alcohol, going
to movies and just hanging out generally. I had a couple of rich friends with me who
funded our soirees. I wanted to spend like them and not being able to do so made me more
depressed. To earn more I now got into another field - fixing. I tried to get odd jobs
done for people by odd means. I even managed to sell off a car of a friend, which was
involved in an accident case and was required by the Court of Law as evidence, by forging
papers and greasing palms in the transport department. Similarly, sometimes I used to
get people their ration cards, driving licenses etc. This earned me a reputation in the
field of unauthorised arbitration, which I possessed for long. This situation was
enduced by the habit of folding hands in front of those who mattered while ensuring that there
were many who folded hands in front of us.
A non-confident and hesitant re-appearance in the Police entrance re-examination somehow saw
me through. My parents had been suggested to offer bribes to ensure clearance in the
exams, but the price demanded was heavy and thus out of their reach. Luck was at my side
and the only hurdle now left was of a personal interview. My relatives turned down my
request for making efforts in approaching the right people, as they all disliked me for my
wayward ways. However, my luck smiled again and I was selected. As there was no
Police record on me, I managed to score on account of vigilance clearance too aided by the
fact that my Character verification was smoothened by the Principal of my College.
I underwent training for nine months in the training school at Kingsway Camp, Delhi.
During this term, I could still manage to consume liquor despite the watchful eyes of those in
charge. This was formalised by conniving with the Instructor whose liking of the bottle was
uncensored by the local washerman. What’s more, I even managed to get my share of
Charas during the training days. However, I completed my training properly.
Successful completion of the training got me transferred to active policing and no
sooner I found myself deputed to receive Commando Training. Here I met a few
acquaintances who got me introduced to the Instructor and we drew closer. The atmosphere
here was totally different from the Training School. The Instructor used to drink daily
and so did almost 50 % of the trainees. I again became the facilitator for the ever help
seeking trainees and getting their odd jobs sanctioned by the Instructor in consideration for
a bottle. I particularly got closer to Baldev, another rural lad who regularly offered
me Charas. Visiting home was not a problem as the Instructor was in my hands.
Unrecorded leave was always available.
These good days had to get over. They did. I developed differences with the
Instructor and he started marking me absent and giving punishments, which became slowly severe
to bear. However, I completed my training and was posted at the P.M. House.
I was maturing now. I started working on improving relations. My mother got me
married to a local girl. My marriage had its share of controversies as my father had
invited my uncle against the wishes of my mother and me. There was a lot of commotion
then.
On my suggestions, my family sold off the buffaloes and we bought a Mini Truck after taking
small loans from wherever we could. I had a dream come true for me. The truck took
me to different places on work and I could stay away from my home and my job, which I suddenly
began to lose interest in. My wife always tried to make me understand things, but could
not go beyond a certain limit. My liking of being on the highways soon drifted me away
from my job and I used to absent myself more frequently. Notices from the department
started coming home. I joined back. Absenteeism ensued again. This went on
for some time.
My family got worried and wanted me to be punctually on the job. It was not to be.
Not till my driving around got me my share of liquor and drugs.
Business got bad. The truck met with an accident and I too got hurt – damages were
more than physical injuries this time. No one was there for me, when I wanted them. No
one now saluted me. The Creditors started pressing me for recovery. The vehicle
was standing idle. My job was unstable. I needed my drinks and I had no
money. For the first time in my life, I started stealing and selling household goods.
No show off was possible now. I hated to go back to the force. Seven months
passed. Upon receiving threats of my relatives and especially of my in-laws to take away
my wife, I reported for my duties. A Departmental Enquiry was ordered which found me
guilty and my services were terminated. This information was prevented form reaching my
family members by me, but not until long. They came to know when a constable reached
home with the news which shattered my family completely.
The family had no buffaloes now, no job and an irresponsible son who had become a
liability. We were driven to the verge of starvation save for my father’s meager
pension.
I had lost touch with everyone I knew. I had no where to go. A concerned person
informed my family about a De-addiction treatment Centre where I went finally for the better.
If…..
I am of the view that had my family kept a check on me and my activities and reviewed my acts
at the right time, I would not have deviated. Also they should not have given me those
rights which I did not deserve. I did not receive proper and firm guidance early enough
that it is education and not showing off which gets you where you aim to reach. I believe my
parents should have withdrawn me from the school and arranged my education via
correspondence. Though my father always questioned me, he never became an
obstruction. He protested, but never became the barrage to prevent me from degeneration.
Further, being the eldest, I had the responsibility of my father – an authority that can
also be misused – as it happened in my case.
My family, especially my wife and in-laws threatened me about distancing from me, but it was a
step taken too late. This should have been taken well in time and implemented, not just
threatened. The family should have not tolerated my decaying state and had they
insulted and rebuffed me, things could have been prevented.
My teachers too never reported my extra – curricular activities to my parents.
There was no follow-up. Teaching is not just a profession. They should have acted
as counselors too. In my case, they became facilitators of my decline. They facilitated my
copying in the exams and the Principal even issued my Character Certificate. I lost respect
for my teachers in the school itself and this went on till my police training days.
Similarly, my training in the Police Force should have included compulsory moral and spiritual
training. The Instructors should have been checked as to what they were
instructing. Senior supervision was totally lacking. Ironically I learnt all the
techniques of extraction but not much on being a compassionate policeman.
The local authorities too had a major role to play in my case. I had no adverse police
record. At least my name should have figured in the General Confidential Neighborhood
record. This could have prevented my entry into the police force, a position where I had
thousands of innocent individuals at my mercy.
My dismissal from the Police has been a blessing in disguise for me. Also it was good
that I never got a district police posting. Had I been there, my manipulative nature
would have ensured my further retrogression into the field of crime. What I have now
learnt after my Police days, should have been taught during my training.
Prakash is now a realised / aware man. He has applied for reinductionin the poice on
humanitarian grounds. |
